Trigger Warning: Reference to Assault.
The last few weeks have been a nonstop avalanche of triggers and trauma. This is a lot to hold - it’s a lot to witness, and it’s a lot to contend with. I keep coming back to the invisibility of it all. The act of assault renders one invisible and that harm is reactivated by a culture that insists on not seeing any of this. A culture that embraces erasing, minimizing, and denying the pervasiveness of it all. We are looking for respite while swimming in this toxicity. It is everywhere and all at once.
We’d be naive to suggest that this particular instance provides any more insight than the countless circumstances and examples that come before it. This was foretold. The ambivalence and disregard for our well being, and our truths, and our wholeness is well accounted for. They’ve done as they’ve been taught to do: whatever they must, to keep us invisible. Seeing us would mean seeing themselves and to see themselves would require a tremendous amount of courage and vulnerability. Why bother when they can just pretend as if we aren’t here and as if we aren’t hurting. Why bother when their inhumanity is the status quo.
And yet even so, in the shadow of how hopeless it may seem, my prayer remains simple and centered on us: may this bring us more clarity; may that clarity ignite our courage; may that courage awaken our power.
I’m holding space for the rest of myself to catch up with my rage. I’m holding space for my grief and my trauma. And I’m holding space for the part of me that knows that something exists beyond this. The part of me that knows that our hearts are aligned with life itself and that a Cosmos full of love and magic stands ready right beneath our wings. Seeing us clearly. Loving us fully. Urging us on.
I believe that we are the alchemists.
I believe that this will end with us.
Your attempts to manipulate
Will only serve to undermine
Your own legitimacy
What happens when we realize
That you’ve become illegitimate
With nothing to trust
Think of what we might do
When we decide to trust ourselves